?

I don't know why I'm pouring it out here, instead of just texting you, or telling you when we were on the phone. I don't know why.

You are mad at me.
I understand. It's my fault for doing other stuff while talking to you on the phone. I won't explain.

But you say we are drifting apart. I'm acting like a different person. I'm not as much interested in our conversations like I was before. You are trying hard and I'm not.

Do you really think so?
Do you?

Of all those people in this world, me, more than anyone else, is torn hearing you said that.
You put in tons of effort. What makes you think I didn't?
My effort didn't show. I'm bad at making jokes. I didn't laugh that much. I changed.
But you shouldn't have said that. You shouldn't have told me I don't try as hard as I did before. You shouldn't.
Because I did.
And God knows how hard it is for me.
Being this far away.
This far. Away.

I hate explaining.
You wouldn't see the point of this anyway.

My thoughts are all messed up right now.
I better go to bed before another cramp comes.
Silence is the best solution right now.

Faith. Do you remember where we kept it?

Happy anniversary, huh?