not just yet.

My sweetie is finally back from the longest period of burying himself in work, lessons, exams, endless days and nights of hardcore mugging. I could not be any happier.


But life looooves to play games, especially with us.
The hostel's network blocked our webcams - the only sources of update we were desperately looking forward to. I was dying to feel that chill again, that kinda thrill pumped in my veins whenever I saw his smiles, his silly face, his cutest frown...
My computer crashed. And Khoai's comp refused to accept the jacks of my headset, so I couldn't call him. I couldn't even hear his voice.
As usual, his internet were shut off at midnight. I was left alone in the dark again. Somehow I still couldn't find a way out just yet.


4 months left of my craving suddenly seems so much further, than it already is.


All I want to do now is screaming out so loud that there's nothing I want more than seeing him right in front of my eyes, even for just a while, that I am dying to have him in my arms, that I don't care about anything else, please just come back to me.
But I know, he's gonna book a flight right away and come back to me, once I blurp out those words.


But as I said, Life looooooves pulling tricks on us. And at this moment, we can't handle them just yet.


God, I hate this feeling.
If only I could stop missing him for just a while.

Four,

So I went back to my old normal life and stayed as a happily single gal.
I got closer to other girls in my life, like my two roomates who were Chinese, my wonderful MG batchmates and more. Somehow the life that was filled with girlish things and girlish thoughts was not that bad. The thought of having a significant other in my life, slowly faded, naturally.


Among all of us girls, it seemed that none actually realized or cared about the importance of having a boifriend. We carried on with our beautiful lives. We gathered around the dining table everyday, chit chated through dinner, never missed any birthday cake, surprised others once in a while, cooked our parties with just the pantry's old microwave oven alone, gossiped through the nights, laughed our asses off, and the world just felt whole. We did not need anyone else to feel special.


The next two years of mine passed by rather slowly.
The daily routine started to wear me out. School was not fun. Classmates loved to pick on scholars. Food could not get any worse. People started to drift apart.
We only hung on to each other in a really desperate way, cos we know so well that once we let go, we would free fall on our own, and could not find a way back. So all we could do, all we did do, was hold on to each other, dearly, desperately, miserably.


Everyone was so busy. It was so funny the way life sucked us all in. Busy. Busy. Busy. Everyone was such a busy bee. We started to let ourselves drift a little bit further from others, comforting ourselves with the thought we did that so their lives would be easier without worrying about ours. One by one. A little bit further, a little bit.
After all, that was the game we played. And what we had to pay was a bit too pricey.

Just another day.

When a girl cries, she needs nothing but a listening ear, or a shoulder to lean on.
No, let me take that back.
That's not what girls need.
That's just what I need.

I wish I could stop myself from crying too much like this.
Especially alone, and in the dark, like this.

Thanks mom, for reminding me again just at the very moment I started to forget,

I'm nothing to you.

three,

Our dates were always rather awkward, in one way or another. Being just friends seemed so much easier. He bought me stuff that he knew I secretly loved. I fixed my hair the way he liked, wore his favorite skirt. Both of us tried to put in as much effort as we could, cos we saw something actually special in the other, and we both wanted "us" to work out. Desperately.


But relationship is hard. It will be ten times harder without the real chemistry between the two. And that was exactly our case. Casual conversations were not enough. Seeing him did not give me chills. Holding hands didn't feel that romantic. I was not comfortable being around him. I did not long for his gaze, did not miss his smile, did not crave for his laughter. I did not feel like an addict. I just didn't.
But he was trying really hard to be the best boyfriend he could. He asked me about my day enthusiastically despite my cold tone and short answers. He bought me cute little things I love. He never forgot to wish me a good night sleep and a beautiful new day, not even once. He tried to be with me even though it took him forever to travel, cos our hostels were miles apart...

I was being totally unreasonable. But I couldn't help it.


On our first anniversary (for 1 month being together), he came to my hostel's door, and called me down.
I totally forgot about it.
It got worse.
I was not in the mood. So I did not listen to the phone. After getting tired of trying to reach me, he called a friend of mine. She came up with a very beautiful pot of flowers and a card which said the past month had been the happiest month of his life, said it was for me.
I felt nothing.

A few hours later, I texted him. I told him everything was nothing other than my desperate effort trying to make myself fall for him. But a month had passed and nothing was changed. I had no feelings for him. All I was thinking at that moment was "I don't care what to say. I just want to make it quick, make it work. And get it over with."
After pressing the Send button, I suddenly felt so damn insecured and empty. I just lost something I knew I would never be able to take back.
Never.


Yes, I agree. I was a total douchebag. I was.


I never had a chance to listen to his side of the story. All I remember was my endless chain of thoughts after I made that decision. But I forgot pretty quickly. Sometimes it just came back out of the blue, with a breeze of guilt and fear, of myself, about myself, then left me thinking about it all over again.
Of course things ended like that. We never spoke again.


The break up was bad and it dragged out tons of other problems. Sis Rach refused to talk to me for the longest time since that childish act of mine, which I had no right to oppose. People looked at me like all I tried to do that whole time was using him, which was totally irrelevant. The only person who actually knew why I did that, was sis Van. She understood my decision and tried to be by my side the whole time. Just like I once told Ngu, post break up is always hard, is equally hard, no matter it is the one who made the decision or the one who had to face it we're talking about.


It was such an experience, with the price I would never forget.
It took me such a long time to finally be able to look back and confess all those horrible things I did. For breaking a person's heart. And to pour it down into an 8-page-long-letter I later send to Daddy Thooh.

I know.

I'm not anything to you.
Well I've never really cared about those kinds of labels but realizing this simple little fact still, somehow, bugs me a lil bit.
But oh well, who can I blame anyway since I could not categorize you either?
I'm happy with it.
For finally facing the truth and accepting it.
=)

Mưa. Chuyện của những ngày mưa.

Hà Nội mưa.
Lâu lắm rồi mới ngồi một chỗ mà trông mưa và xem mọi người qua lại.
Thường thì sẽ hối hả phóng xe chạy mưa về nhà bằng được, chứ nhất định không mặc áo mưa. Hoặc đi bộ chậm thật chậm cho mưa ướt hết cả rồi mới lững thững đi về. Phòng mình nhìn ra đường, Hàng Vôi dạo này đông đúc ồn ã, còi xe ầm ĩ nên cứ vừa bước chân vào đã đóng cửa ngay. Cửa to cửa bé đều đóng chặt. Nên cũng chẳng biết trời nắng trời mưa nó thế nào. Chẳng biết và cũng chẳng muốn biết. Thi thoảng lắm đêm nằm nghe mưa lộp độp trên mái tôn mới nằm nghĩ ngợi một tẹo, nghe một tí Norah Jones cho hợp, rồi ngủ ...


Hôm nay được ngồi trú mưa bên Bờ Hồ. Bi một bên, Ngu một bên. Chuột chạy vèo dưới chân, sấm chớp to chưa từng thấy đánh đùng đoàng trước mặt. 2 đứa hâm và những câu chuyện ngu xuẩn. Hạnh phúc vì chân đau vẫn có đứa thèm vác đi chơi trong ngày mưa gió. Sẽ nhớ lắm đây những khi mưa chỉ biết cắm đầu cắm cổ về nhà cho nhanh, vì bị sợ đứng trú mưa một mình lắm.


Mình có nhớ sinh nhật 19 là một ngày mưa. Tiệc tàn, mỗi người một ngả rẽ. Đi bộ một vòng trong mưa, tự dưng thấy mình bị cô đơn khủng khiếp. Nó rõ ràng như sờ thấy được, cắt được ra nhét vào túi. Ngày đặc biệt và không có ai đặc biệt ở bên.


Rồi có một lần mắc mưa ở một đường không tên. Tứ phía nước ngập ngang gối. Cái xe dở hơi nặng và to không thể lội qua. Cứ mỗi lần có mấy xe ôtô lao đến là sóng đánh đổ xe. Ghét cái lũ người đứng trên vỉa hè cười cợt không thèm giúp đỡ. Xe đổ mà mò mẫm mãi mới thấy tay cầm và gồng điên lên mới dựng được dậy, để đẩy tiếp. Rồi cái lúc chỉ biết chống chân chống xe xuống đấy, ngồi giữa biển nước, trời rất tối, đường phố không một biển tên. Nhắn tin bảo Dg mình đang rất sợ. Rồi sợ gì thì cũng qua, xe khỏi ốm lại nổ được máy. Hơn 3 tiếng ngồi dưới mưa, chẳng có gì sướng hơn giây phút được mở cửa bước chân vào nhà mình.


Mình đặc biệt thích những ngày mưa ở Sing. Nếu nói đến Hà Nội mưa là nhớ đến những bóng áo mưa phóng xe vun vút, thì nói đến Singapore mưa, là nói đến những bóng ô qua lại. Mình thích đi bộ thật chậm, tụt lại phía sau, để ngắm cho thoả thích những dáng đi đứng, cách cầm ô và những sự vội vã hết sức riêng biệt của từng người một. Cái mùi mưa của Sing cũng rất khác. Là cái mùi tươi mới của đất trời, của cỏ cây, không cổ kính và đem theo cái mát mẻ dễ chịu như Hà Nội nhưng oi nồng và cực kì đặc biệt mà ai trải qua một lần cũng rất muốn trải qua thêm lần nữa. Nên cứ mỗi lần mưa, mưa sẽ mang theo cái urge được cầm ô lao ra ngoài ngay lập tức...
Mưa Sing là 3 đứa tíu tít share chung một cái ô. Là đôi giày ướt. Là sách vở đem đi phơi. Là lo lắng sáng dậy quên không đóng cửa sổ mà laptop vẫn để trên bàn ngay đấy. Là xe buýt phóng nhanh dội ào nước làm cả lũ ướt như chuột lột. Là chiếc giường quyến rũ...


Mình rất nhớ cái đêm mưa được Dg nắm tay đi bộ loanh quanh Clark Quay và Esplanade. Có mỗi cái áo khoác đen che đầu mà nhất định không chịu che, cứ bắt mình mặc bằng được. Lúc hối hả chạy mưa trên cầu, Sing River đèn sáng lung linh đến mê mẩn, được kéo tay và tặng cho một cái hôn vội thật nhanh. Chưa bao giờ thấy Sing đẹp xinh đến thế.


Mấy hôm nay ở nhà nhiều cứ bị nghĩ loanh quanh luẩn quẩn nhớ nhung toàn chuyện xa lơ xa lắc. Chẳng biết bao giờ mới sống lại được những ngày mưa ấy ...

two,

It's already August. Hanoi is still emerged in the sweltering summer heat.

It's been so long since the last time I tried to recall all the things that happened back in those days. But trying to place those millions of pieces together somehow felt really good.

Where did I stop last time?
Oh, P.

I hardly talked about him to anyone. It's a strange thing based on the fact that he actually marked a quite memorable chapter of my life.
We started off being brother and sister. Hardly did I know it was the very first move every guy would make to get his way to the girl he liked. (til one day Ngu told me that)
Being away from home was hard. And being able to talk about anything on earth, whatever thing at all, after long days of boring English lessons, is what every girl craved for. We did not have any romantic stories to tell, memorable dates to remember, or dramatic fights to forget. Everything just grew slowly day after day with stories we shared to each other. Families. Crushes. Friends. Whatever thing at all. I could see clearly what he was getting at. But I was not ready for an answer.

I was having a HUGE crush with this boy by that time. It was so huge that I could not even believe I was actually having it. His name is K. Everytime he stepped into the room, every drop of blood in my entire body rushed right up to my face. I acted clumsily and was unable to speak a word. His smiles melted my heart. And just a Hello friendly wave of his could send me to the Moon and kept me awake all night. I walked to the pantry for water 10 times a night, just so I could see him pacing back and forth along the balcony of the Boy's block talking on the phone with another girl.
He was the strangest thing that ever happened to me. Naturally, it went away, just like any other summer crushes, left me waiting for my truly happy ending.

I still remember the day we parted. The day we were sent to different boarding schools and hostels to start our very own journeys. The bus ride was long and the view from our bus' windows were simply painful to watch.
I did not cry when we said good-byes, when we hugged each other, when we parted to different buses.
Only when I started to unpack in that scarily empty room of mine, loneliness hit me hard. I burst into tears. It was too hard facing the fact that the 25 of us would no longer be together. I cried and cried, for 2 whole hours and could not stop. Then the phone rang.
P called.
Just to make sure I was ok.


Not very long after that. At Christmas' Eve, I said yes to being his girlfriend.
I still remember I wore blue that day, and the very first person I told that decision to was sis Rachel. We were on the escalator going down to meet the guys. And the news made her so happy that I stopped wondering whether it was the right thing to do. When someone who's that special to you said yes, it was the right choice, end of discussion.
And that was how I officially became his girlfriend.

one,

3 years ago, when I was once a happily single gal, I used to spend forever talking about future to my gals - Le, Mery and Nant. Our longest dinners with mosquitoes biting all over our legs in that empty dining hall were always filled with laughters and silliest confessions. I still remember vividly how crazy Nant all drove us with her cutest love stories of her parents, some of those we could only wish to have found in some sort of Korean dramas.

My parents were divorced by that time, that's why I had such a thing for inspiring love stories. Listening to them could me feel happy for days, weeks, months, much more than the kind of rush getting a new phone or a new piece of jewelry could ever bring. Nant often dreamed of a guy who was as cute as her dad, as smart as her dad, as perfect as her dad; Le and Mery dreamed of a handsome face who would never smile (yeah, their definition of COOLNESS after watching too many Korean dramas). And me. After a long list of personal traits I drew out for my ideal guy, I realized there was only one thing I really needed. That's Love. And nothing else.

Well, we, four of us girls, never shared the same interest in any kind of things anyway. But we remained so close together. Til the very last day I left that island.

I was brought to him just like that.
Well, we had been friends for 2 years up to that point. Not much, but enough. We were batchmates, who only got the chance to meet 4 to 5 times a year after 3 months of ELBC - 3 months in which we were forced to face each other every single day. Yeah, those were the times we got so bored of each other that we had no idea how to treasure the moments 25 of us could be as a whole.
Well, if you're thinking I could have recalled perfectly to the littlest details how we first met. Then you're wrong. I absolutely had no idea, even the slightest one, about him, about that first day we met. Painful!

Anyway, 3 months being a part of VCC, trying to adjust and cope with the brand new independence, there were too many things to learn, too many cool people to make friends with. And he, stood a really special place, for being the Perfect Boyfriend any girl on earth could ever dream of.

He had a girlfriend, who stayed back home, and who was mentioned about Every Single Day in his conversations with anybody. He told us endless stories about her, about the way she sat with her legs folded together in the weirdest way, about the shy smiles she refused to let him see, about her voice, her walk, ... too frequently that we felt like we knew her better than any kind of close friends she got. He got us all burnt out with jealousy. Who wouldn't want a boyfriend like that one day, who would never get tired of being crazy about us like that?

But long distance relationship was hard.
Not very long later, she left him for somebody else.


It had nothing to do with my life back in those days.


Cos I was too busy trying to be a girlfriend of P.

=D

Feeling like writing something.
Something long.

The battle.

Will officially begins tomorrow.

Well, for my baby, not me =)
There's not much to say. I'm not that good at encouraging people either.
All I can do is keep praying things are gonna be all going their right ways for my baby and for all those fighters going to war tomorrow =) And they will win back their pride in one way or another.
Good luck baby!
I always believe in you, no matter what!
And for sure all that hard work will be paid off!
:*
I Love You.

Life, or whatever.

Isn't this photo too cute?

Anyway, my life is pretty much in a rut right now. I have no money to spend. Hence, nowhere to go. I have nothing to do and everyone I care about is busy with their own lives. Ok, let's list out the things I have to do, to sweep away this boredom of mine.

+ Straighten my hair. Done! Now it looks all flat and lifeless. But aside from that, it looks really incredible looooong and shiny. Dg said he loved it better when I had straight hair so well, even if I am not that big fan of this hairstyle, it's still worth the effort =)

+ Sign up for a French class. Mom is a pro in delaying stuff. I may have to push it down my schedule for another 3 months if she still forgets about this =(

+ Try my best to motivate my baby. He's having prelims next week and I can do nothing but sitting here, praying for the best and sending my stupid words to him day by day =( LTD sucks hard! =( I feel so useless... But whatever happens, my baby's gonna ROCK I can feel it already :*

+ Prepare myself mentally cos my buddy is leaving in less than a week's time. NOOOOOOOOO!!! Ok i won't cry this time but it's gonna be hard. I feel so alone already =(
It just hit me real hard this morning cos we stayed up so late last night talking about relationships, friends, life, and the stupidest little things just like old times. I really missed it. That was when I realized nothing had changed. And we are still so close that nothing can come through. NOTHING =)

Anyway, enough with this stupid talk. Don't know who even cares to read these silly words of mine anyway.

Good night people!
I'm going to sleep cos H1's gonna hang out tmr yeahhhhhhhhhh

Sometimes,

all we need to do is let go.

Change.

Are we all changing? One way or another?
Is it alright to feel different about things that we always thought they could never ever be changed?
Maybe that's the each and everyone of us has to pay for growing up.
Cuz growing up is never easy.
And we should get used to losing things that we will never be able to take back.
No matter how hard it is.

The Break-Up.

Ok so basically, my friend just broke up with this girl. Well, there's nothing to say, really, except the fact that everything turned into this huge mess, and the boy, who is one of my closest friends, is so dumb that he couldn't do anything about it. None of my business anyway.

Everyone was affected and became a part of that messy breakup.

Well, not until this very moment, after I just figured out I was removed from her friend list on facebook, have I realized I was the big source of all those troubles.
So, she gave me a reason to stop trying to be friends with her. Which is fine.
Girls tend not to like me anyway =)

The hardest thing is.
She is the best friend of my closest girlfriend.
Yeah, now I'm torn. Would it be better if I fake to stay nice or just keep being me and pour everything straight out?

Bottom line is.
We're 19.
Grow up!
Be cool and make life easier for everyone, please!

Sapa, chuyện chưa kể. Một.

Không ai sẵn sàng. Ai cũng có chuyện. Chuyện lớn chuyện nhỏ. Và tâm trạng chung là bực bội và bức bối. Nhưng vé tàu đã mua, khách sạn đã đặt. Chuyến đi được lên lịch từ rất rất rấtttttt lâu rồi đã phải bắt đầu như thế. Một cách thiếu hào hứng như thế.

Khi mua vé đã nhắc đi nhắc lại là giường mềm khoang 4 nhưng lơ ngơ thế nào 2 đứa lại bị lừa, mà mãi cho đến khi bước chân lên tàu mở cửa ra mới hiểu. Có 2 ông áo may ô quần đùi ngồi gác chân chễm chệ trên 2 giường tầng 1. Đêm đấy cả lũ hết cả ngủ, căn bản là tại hai chú lợn hôi.

Xuống ga Lào Cai trời còn chưa kịp sáng. 5 rưỡi.

Xe lên Sapa chậm rãi. Đội hình chuẩn bị tinh thần rất căng, căn bản ai cũng có tiểu sử say xe. Thật may 1 tiếng ngồi ôtô trôi qua không thể nuột hơn. Cảnh ngoài cửa sổ đã mời gọi lắm rồi. Xe đỗ xịch trước cửa khách sạn. Khách sạn Thái Bình ngập hoa, nhỏ xinh dưới chân núi Hàm Rồng. Phòng xinh xắn 2 giường đủ cho 4 đứa. Sapa mát lạnh và tạnh ráo. Nắng cũng vừa đủ tươi. Tất cả lo lắng mệt mỏi được gột sạch, sẵn sàng cho vụ đi chơi của cả bốn đứa.

Loanh quanh Sapa.
Núi Hàm Rồng.
Ăn thịt lợn bản xiên nướng, cơm lam, ngon vô cùng tận.



Về đến khách sạn cả lũ vật ra ngủ như chết đến tận chiều. Dậy rồi mới lơ ngơ tha thẩn đi tìm thung lũng hoa hồng. Xa tít mù tắp và khi ra đến nơi chỉ thấy toàn hồng đội mũ trắng phau nhọn hoắt. Ở đây được nghe 2 đồ hâm ngồi tưởng tượng những cái chết thảm khốc nơi rừng xanh. Ku thì một mình đi thám hiểm thung lũng với những anh chàng làm nương và sau đấy bị high vì những con cóc ảo giác.
Mặt trời sắp lặn. Cả lũ hối hả lên dốc về thành phố sợ phải đi qua căn nhà hoang lúc trời tối mất rồi.

3 đứa bài bạc 1 đứa nằm dỗi cả tối.
9h mới mò mặt ra đường ăn uống. Bị chém đẹp nhưng không đứa nào dám ho he 1 câu.

Đêm phát điên vì 2 "mẹ" tâm sự đêm khuya đến 2 3h không xong cứ dấm dúi thầm thì cười khanh khách làm 2 nàng thứ thiệt nằm giường bên cạnh mệt rũ mà không sao ngủ được bực mình điên lên. Khiếp con trai mà nói lắm kinhhhhhhhhhhhh. Đến lúc thiu thiu ngủ được rồi thì Ku bed-mate của mình lại nằm mơ giấc mơ chạy bộ. Đầu gối huých huých vào lưng mình. Nửa đêm trời tối thui chẳng biết kêu ai. Nhìn sang bên cạnh thấy Bi không một mảnh chăn. Khổ thế. Hôm sau nhất định phải cho đồ béo và đồ còi nằm chung giường, 2 đồ yêu hoà bình còn lại xứng đáng được hưởng chăn ấm đệm êm giấc ngủ ngon nghẻ :x

Sáng hôm sau cả lũ ngủ nghê chán chê 10h mới mò dậy xong tranh nhau giành giật danh hiệu ai dậy sớm nhất. Rất tiếc chỉ có Diệp đánh răng sớm nhất thôi còn mấy cái đồ "dậy xong thấy mọi ng còn đang ngủ nên lại đi ngủ" không được tính đâuuuuuuuu
Dậy quá muộn nên đành ăn Brunch. Ngu rất buồn vì điều này.

Ăn xong lang thang khám phá Sapa. Tìm được quán cafe Segafredo sướng như bắt được vàng. Căn bản đêm hôm trước ngồi bar Mõ Trâu gọi cocktail vàng đỏ gì đó cuối cùng turn out như xê xủi rõ kinh. Chị bartender pha chế trông hết hồn nữa chứ. Cả đội hứa với nhau không bao giờ quay lại lần 2.
Ừ đấy quay lại câu chuyện Segafredo. Đến gần ngó vào trong Ku đã phát hiện ngay ra cái đèn cực Màu. Bước vào cửa hàng đã thấy đẫm chất Màu House trong quán này. Từ chiếc đèn treo trần đến cái gối thổ cẩm dựa lưng to uỳnh mấy đứa vẫn quen tranh nhau mỗi lần lên Màu. Rồi chị bán hàng lao ra "em là Linh đúng không?". Hoá ra hai ông chủ chơi với nhau và quyết định hợp tác. Cuối cùng thì đội hình cũng tìm được một quán ngon lành cành đào giữa chốn Sapa xô bồ để ngả ngốn và thưởng thức đồ uống cực ngon. Ở đây cả lũ được ăn kem Sả. Đúng thế, Sả trong "Xào Sả Ớt" ấy ạ! Cái mà hay tẩm ướp các loại thịt í! Ngonnn kinhh hoàngggg mới sợ nhé!

Lăn lộn xong ở đấy thì cũng ngả chiều. Cả lũ thuê xe đi chơi xa.
Lao Chải - Tả Van.
Đường xuống thảnh thơi vui vẻ. Cả dọc đường xe chạy lạnh buốt lẫn đường đi bộ xuống suối không biết phải dừng lại tất cả bao nhiêu lần để trầm trồ vì cảnh vật quá chi là kinh khủng đẹp. Suối nước xiết đá ngổn ngang xinh xắn vô cùng. Cầu mây dập dình đung đưa. Ruộng bậc thang mênh mông bạt ngàn tăm tắp xếp hàng xếp lối đẹp đến ngẩn cả người.
Đường lên khủng khiếp cực hình. Lên đến nơi không còn hơi để kêu, chỉ biết thở hồng hộc nhìn nhau đắm đuối.

30 nghìn tiền xăng đi hoài đi mãi không hết. Quyết tâm đi đốt bằng hết rồi trả xe.
Nhân tiện đây Diệp và Ku đã học được bài học cuộc sống quý giá. Đừng bao giờ cười nhạo thứ gì qua mạng, hãy nhìn tận mắt rồi hẵng judge! Chocolate & Baguette turned out to be một cửa hàng bánh Pháp vô cùng có tiếng của Hoa Sữa, thương hiệu nỗi tiếng từ lâu của Hà Nội. Cả lũ vào đấy ăn uống bét nhè chè đỗ đen đủ các loại bánh ngonnn nhấttttt (giờ nhắc lại vẫn còn thèm). Khung cảnh trắng đỏ sàn gỗ dễ thương vô cùng. Nhạc Pháp bật rất nhẹ nữa chứ. Đúng là sau buổi trekking (giả vờ) mệt mỏi, chỉ có như thế là sướng nhấtttt.
Tự dưng quên béng mất tên bánh ngon ngon Bi ăn rồi =( Đang định đi tìm recipe! Ừ đấy, thế nên ai muốn ăn cookies ngon nhất quả đất hãy tìm đến Chocolate&Baguette phố Cầu Mây Sapa nhé =)

Tạm nghỉ đã buồn ngủ rồi =(

12:24

From: Dg

I Love You =)
Given a thousand times for me to choose again, i would still choose the path that leads me to you :*
Goodnite baby ;) and get well really soon! :*



That's everything I needed to end my blue Saturday night.

?

I don't know why I'm pouring it out here, instead of just texting you, or telling you when we were on the phone. I don't know why.

You are mad at me.
I understand. It's my fault for doing other stuff while talking to you on the phone. I won't explain.

But you say we are drifting apart. I'm acting like a different person. I'm not as much interested in our conversations like I was before. You are trying hard and I'm not.

Do you really think so?
Do you?

Of all those people in this world, me, more than anyone else, is torn hearing you said that.
You put in tons of effort. What makes you think I didn't?
My effort didn't show. I'm bad at making jokes. I didn't laugh that much. I changed.
But you shouldn't have said that. You shouldn't have told me I don't try as hard as I did before. You shouldn't.
Because I did.
And God knows how hard it is for me.
Being this far away.
This far. Away.

I hate explaining.
You wouldn't see the point of this anyway.

My thoughts are all messed up right now.
I better go to bed before another cramp comes.
Silence is the best solution right now.

Faith. Do you remember where we kept it?

Happy anniversary, huh?